Finally!

Ok, so it`s been ages since I wrote on this blog, or read anyone else also for that matter. We're enjoying the last bits of summer before our son starts pre-kindergarden next week (how exciting!). So the reason I haven't been around much isn't because of the summer, it's because I've been preoccupied with other things than weight loss (although I can't wait to read how everyone had been doing!).

What have I been preoccupied with you ask? I've been busy dealing with all day morning sickness, lots of doctor tests, feeling exhausted, and having to rush to the bathroom all the time.... You guessed it.... Yes, I am finally pregnant! I am so happy! Right now, I'm 15 weeks pregnant and already can't wait to meet our new little one!

Anyway, off I go to shuttle off our big one to bed, and then hopefully start reading up on everyones news, because if I want to read back from the last post I read, I have TONS of catching up to do!

Goodnight all!

Temptation

Yay for non scale victories! Today, there was a baby shower at work with a HUGE cake that was not just calling my name but YELLING it!. What did I do you will ask ?!?!?!








I walked away, without even eating a crumb! (You have no idea how much I LOVE cake)

0.6 lbs

Is how much I've lost in a week and a half. Although I won't complain considering I am basically on bed rest as my physiotherapist doesn't want me doing anything that required the use of my foot (I have tendonitis and bursitis in my right ankle). Also will not complain considering the junk I ate this week. I must be doing something good though. Here is my analysis.

Cookies = very bad

Lots of fruit = good

Ice cream = bad

Tons of water = very good

Too many carbs = bad

Too much take out = bad
Bed rest = not good

Actually doing core exercises = awesomely making me sore!

I guess the lesson here is lots of fruit and water will negate everything else!!! Just kidding. Honestly, I don't know what I did right, but either way, I need to be more careful in the next 2 weeks if I want a good weight in.

On a side note. I made cushions and a bunting for our deck last weekend. See photos.... they make me smile and happy, and want to spend more time outside! (more photos)

So... what makes you happy, what puts a smile on your face?

Milkshake

I just made a milkshake, with one small banada, 1 cup of strawberries, a few handfuls of blueberries, a little bit of milk, a lot of ice, and just enough ice to say it got that ice cream taste (about a half cup)... so pretty and colorful, so yummy, I should have taken a picture but didn't think of it soon enough, so now, you just get to hear about how good it was, and good for you too with only a little bit of ice cream but that felt like cups of it.

YUMMY!

(P.S. Actually, it gave me enough for one 2 cup portion tonight, and to fill up a travel mug (about 1 1/2 cups) for tomorrow, so I might get off my butt and take a picture then!)

12 km

That's how far I've biked today! 6km to go to the pool, and 6km back. I am proud that I got that much activity in today. We just bought bikes last week and were glad to get to try them out this weekend as today's weather was perfect.

On the flip side though, don't tell my physiotherapist since I found out yesterday that the heel pain I've been having since November is not just a bursitis, it's a touch of tendonitis too. I've been ordered to not do any activities at all for the next 3 weeks, to even avoid walking as much as I can. So after today. No moving for me, as ordered.

Also, for people not to think me super woman, I must disclose that my son was in a trailer on my husbands bike on the way there, and mine on the way back, and with all the hills, I thought I was going to die as my lungs hurt and I was queazy by the time I got home. I definitely need to build up biking more slowly! but not for at least 3 weeks are yelling my iced heel and knee)

Have a wonderful, beautiful weekend!

It's not a lot...

But it's something.

You might notice that I have only lost 1 lb in almost 1 1/2 months. I can assure you it is not the program's fault. It's my fault. I have been negligent in watching what I eat. Although I have been making mostly healthier choices, they don't quite make up for the bad ones I make. However, this weekend, while eating a poutine, I was kind of glad that the greasiness of the fries made me a little queaze. To me, that's a good sign, it's my body saying 'You haven't been eating fried foods lately, good job! Now, STAY AWAY!'.

I actually lost 1 lb in the last two weeks. In total, I lost more for the month and a half, but I did have a gain two weeks ago. Stress, being really emotional, doing a course of hormone treatments and this humidity and heat have not been on my side. The next couple of weeks should be less eventful (no birthdays = no cake! no emotional roller coaster = no eating my emotions!)

On the activity side of things, the doctor now gave me four ab and back exercises. It's not much, but at least it's somewhere to start again. And, this weekend, we bought bicycles! I haven't gone on one in years! I bought a comfortable seat so that I'll be more prone to want to use it (For the men out there, yes, bicycle seats hurt woman bits too!). I still have to adjust it and all, as we didn't get to on the weekend because my parents were here, but I can't wait to get to use it on the weekend! ( I know lots of !!! today)

On another positive note, today, I actually feel sexy. I haven't felt that way in quite a while, and even when I felt sexy more, it wasn't often. I bought this smoking dress earlier this week! I wore it today and even though I was afraid it would be a little too revealing for work, I got tons of compliments on it. Yay! (P.S. That's not me in the picture, that's the model from the store's website.)

Anyway, my son wants me to go play with Thomas, Percy and James with him, so.....

Choo! Choo! Choose your food wisely this week, and see you soon!

Calm

Last week was all drama wasn't it! This week went better, I started controlling what I eat a bit better again as the drama wreaked havoc on my eating.

I decided to only weight in every two weeks now as going to the clinic is quite out of the way and I don't need to know how much I weight every week and be told the same thing over and over again. I think that concentrating on what I eat and on getting moving is the important part. We've gone for walks and swimming every Sunday for the last three weeks. I don't think we'll be going this week, but it's been quite nice to get out of the house and do some family activities on the weekend after all of the rushing from the week.

Right now, my house looks like a tornado went through it, I think that there isn't one area that is clean, yuck! My whole life still seems to be all over the place too. With the house, it's an easy fix, just take it one step at a time, with me, not so easy. I just bought a book on meditation that I hope will help calm down my anxiety and stress and am working on a cleanup plan for the house so that I don't add that to the things to stress about. But some things, like my kitchen need to be cleaned pronto so it's time to go clean up!

Is there anything in your life that is in dire need of a spring cleaning?

I am sad, I am thoughtful, I am grateful.

** warning, this is a very emotional post that has nothing to do with weightloss**

This post isn't about weightloss, it's about some things that have happened in my life recently and that I need to process, but that I can't voice to anyone at this moment. Right now I can't sleep, and I can't stop crying. I can't talk to my husband about it, he's not a woman, has no siblings, and would just think I am being over emotional.

As some people (whomever it is that may read this blog) may know, my husband and I have been trying to conceive for over a year with no results. Even though I already have a terrific child who will turn 4 soon, I would love to give him a sibling, the beauty of having someone who will always be there even though he may love them some days, and hate them on some others.

In March, I found out that my sister, who isn't finished college yet and who had just announced her engagement, was pregnant  (although I can assure the engagement isn't because of the pregnancy). As much as I wanted to be happy for her, I just kept feeling that it was so unfair, since I felt that she so isn't ready for a child (and who ever is?). I felt like a horrible person for feeling that way but just coudln't help it. Just as I was starting to get a hold of these feelings, I get a phone call...

My sister had a miscarriage on Monday. Since then, I feel like my world has been upside down. I have just been feeling like crying all the time. I feel such sadness for her as I know that when you get pregnant (and even before), you start dreaming up a whole wonderful world for your child, and I know that even though she may have them again, that she might feel as though she has just lost everything. My sister lives far away, and even though we're not close, I wish I could be there just to hold her as I know words are just never enough in this situation.

At this moment, I feel sad, and have to admit I can barely see my screen as I am writing this. I feel sad for my sister, for her fiance. I feel sad because of everything they have lost and all of the rebuilding she will have to do.

I feel sad, because I know that too often, in my own life, my wonderful son gets pushed aside for work and other household duties, or just because I am tired from a long day. Today, he didn't even ask me to play with him, and that makes me feel sad. And tonight, when I told him I loved him bigger than the whole world, and in his little voice he told me 'me too', I felt sad for what my sister is missing, but will hopefully someday know. I felt sad that I always wish for more, I felt sad that my son doesn't always get all the love and attention he deserves, but it made me happy that I have a healthy and beautiful child.

What happened makes me realise how lucky I am to have him, and reminds me to just be grateful to have him. This makes all the things I want so small compared to everything that is at stake, every day.

From now on, I hope that I can just remember to give my son all the time that I can in the short hours we get to spend together between work and bedtime. That he needs me, that life is fragile, and that I can't just take him for granted because he is truly a gift, and not just an accident. I hope that I will live to be very old just to remind him that he makes the sky bluer and the sun brighter.

As mother's day looms, I want to thank my mom for having the courage to love us, for putting on a brave face even when she may have felt that her world was falling apart, to thank her for giving her all no matter how difficult we made life sometimes, to thank her for all that she gave of herself in a task that is way more demanding than she could ever have imagined. I want to thank her for her time, for her love, for her sadness, for her pride, for her intelligence, for her silliness, for her imagination and her clear resolve in making us better individuals. I want to thank her for being there when we needed her and for gracefully taking a step back when we thought we didn't. I want to remind her that I love her for all of that, and for so much more.

Now, in an anticlimatic statement, I want to say that I am finished rambling and that it is time for bed. Goodnight, dream big dreams, love even bigger.

Another Try

I have been away from this for way to long. I had stopped following weight watchers when after I got to 211 pounds (from 221) as I got stuck at that weight. After months of procrastination, and under advisement of my doctor, I started seeing Doctor Douglas Bishop, who has a weight loss clinic here in Ottawa. I've been on this low carb diet for almost four weeks and although it's though sometimes (as I married an Italian, carb king), overall it's going really well. I've already lost 5.5 pounds and am not having any cravings or finding myself needing to binge. I love it!

It's been awhile... repeat

I haven't posted in forever, and I haven't read anyones posts since Quebec City either. I think it shows as I've been feeling a lack of commitment to WW lately. In the last 3 weeks, I have gained, lost and regained the same 2 lbs.

So sometime this week, I need to sit down (fairly early) with a good cup of Java (or hot chocolate milk) and take the time to read up on all the people I follow and do some reflecting of my own.

I've learned of a medical issue that I may have on Monday, and until all the tests come in, I finally accepted that there is no point in torturing myself. So I will educate myself on PCOS so that I am ready to deal with it, or not deal with it when my diagnosis comes.

Have a good week, and I will post again soon to keep myself motivated.

Goodnight.

C25K

Hello from Quebec City!

I just took it, at 8:00, from a Hilton hotel room! I didn't take it when I woke up at 7:00 since everything was foggy and it was just white.

I feel great! I just got back to my hotel room after doing my first session from the C25K (Couch to 5 Km). I'd been considering taking up running for a while, and finally took the leap. First my plan was to do it in the morning since no other plan was really feasible. So I set a goal to get up at 6:00 every morning. Though that didn't quite work out, I still got up earlier than I normally would have. So I figured it would be time that I start soon. Since I have a hard time sleeping in a hotel room, I figures might as well get up early and get this thing started, and I did!

I never realised how short a minute was and then how long. The session comprised of a 5 minute warmeup walk with 6 reps of 60 seconds of running and 90 seconds of running. I didn't run very fast (7.5 kph). At first, I thought:

'This isn't so bad, maybe I should run faster, then again, it's my first time running so I'll take it easy as I have a full day of work ahead'.

By the 3rd rep:

'Ouch, my legs are getting tired'

By the 5th:

'Breathing is a little difficult, man I'm out of shape!'

And for the 6th and last, I decided to run faster just to see if I could at 8.5 kph and thought:

'thank god I didn't do this for all of my reps, my legs feel like jelly!'

But you know what,  by the time I ended my cooldown and was walking to the elevators, I felt great and I still do. It wasn't easy, and I'm glad I didn't go faster or else I don't think I would have made it past the first 3 reps. I think for my next session I'll start at 8.5mph and then slow down if I need to though now that I know a little more what to expect. My next session is also on the threadmill since I figure, once I set a speed, I have to go that speed, I can't just slow down and it makes it easier to follow a certain pace. I imagine it'll be a lot harder at home when I'll be outside and will have to do it on will alone.

I am officially considering a non scale victory, yay for exercise!

Room service just for here with my hearty breakfast... awesome, I'm starved!!!!

I'll keep you posted on the running!

Heavenly quiet...

My sleep training isn't going so well, meawhile, J's is going great! That first night, he cried for 50 minutes, getting out of bed multiple times. Tuesday, no crying, no getting out of bed, and yesterday he cried for about 3-5 minutes, but didn't get out bed. It's wonderful, I have time to myself in the evening now! I just had to share that as it's such a relief that he's doing so well. We reward him with pieces of a foam alphabet puzzle everyday, which works wonderfully (1 if he gets out of bed, 2 if he doesn't). I was scared that it wouldn't since stickers and such didn't work for other things.

Eating hasn't been great, we really need groceries (which hubby is doing this morning!). So that will help, though I'm a little worried about my eating for the following week while I'm on a conference. I really look forward to visiting Quebec city and am hoping to get a lot of exercise in.

So I am waaaayyyy behind on my blog reading, hopefully I'll catch up with that tonight. I like reading what everyone else if up to and their inspirational little thoughts or calls to action, here's mine for today:

When you're overwhelmed with everything, play Henry Hatsworth (a DS game), you'll be so consumed you'll forget about everything else! :)

Have a good day!

Oh no a gain!

Ouch, weight in was today and I'm up 2.5 lbs. I'm not surprised as my eating hasn't been the greatest, that and since Saturday I feel bloated and dehydrated no matter how much I drink, so hopefully, it's mostly water weight. I'll have to be careful to watch what I eat and get some exercise in since I'll be leaving Saturday for 5 days. 2 days of travel, 3 days of conference.

On the sleep front, I haven't been getting up at 6 o'clock sharp since Saturday. I slept longer on Sunday as I had gone to bed at 3am thanks to Sadie's birthday party! Then yesterday and this morning, I was just too lazy and tired. I've been feeling exhausted lately. Hopefully, my son will fall asleep easily tonight so that I can go to bed early. It's been a bit crazy, at the same time, I'm trying to get up earlier in the morning, we're trying to get him to get to sleep by himself. He use to do it just fine until he started having nightmares this summer and since we've been staying with him until he falls asleep. A hellish habit to break for sure. It's so guilt enducing and heartbreaking sleep training a child, but if it means he gets to sleep faster and earlier it will be better for his health and save my sanity as I feel like I have no time to myself. I do have some time, just none to really spend with my husband and I think that that's hard on both of us. It took J(our son) a mere 50 minutes to stop crying last night. Lets see how he does tonight.

This is how I feel today: Like I can't wrap my head around everything I have to get done. I have to go write a game plan now.... Have a good day while I dig myself out!

P.S. My first photo inside a post!

8:33

The title is the time at which I woke up this morning. I forgot to set my clock last night and didn't wake up until this time. Although I'm not upset. I'd been tired a lot lately, and if I didn't wake up before that, I guess that my body needed the sleep. The good thing that I did though is that I got out of bed right away instead of lingering and dozing on and off, which is what I think really messes up my sleep schedule.

Weather report: -1, with a high of 9... yay for 9!

Today, we'll be running around a lot, so eating right will be difficult. We do have leftovers though, so I'll try to tackle those so that I know what I'm eating.

Off to get dressed and go shopping... maybe I'll pick up a new measuring tape.

Have a good weekend!

Another early morning

4 days in a row.. yay! Although I must admit and say that I've been cheating and getting up on the first snooze. I know it's a slippery slope, so none of that next week! The real test will be tomorrow, as that is my sleep in day.

I reread my post from the other day, and the only horrible thing about getting up really only is the number of typos I made. Then again, I'm amazed I was coherent. Also, it's sad that even though I get up this early, I'm here instead of getting ready, so I'm still late. So now the delimna: Get up even earlier, or don't blog so early in the morning? Opinions?

Weather report: 0, with a high of 3, no rain/snow mix like yesterday though, which makes me happy!
Ok, back to weight topics (sorry I'm all over the place this morning!). I went to measure myself on WI day (Tuesday) and I can't find my measuring tape anywhere. (p.s. I lost 1 lb) I wonder who stole it. It's a big mystery as there are many possible culprits:
A. Hubby
B. Son
C. One of our 4 cats
D. I could have just misplaced it.
All this to say, I can't give an update on my measurements and my mini goal v.1. Hopefully I find it soon though, as I know it's a tiny bit stretched out and I know if doesn't give the most accurate measurements, but I figured that as long as I was consistent I'd be ok. I don't want to have to re-establish baseline measurements!

Off to start the day 1. Shower, 2. get dressed and dolled up, and then the list would never end so I'll stop there.

Have a good day!

(P.S. This post was revised at 8:45 to correct another slew of early morning typos!)

Early good morning!

Ok, contrary to what I said I would do yesterday, I didn't get up right at 6 when my alarm rang... but I did get up at my first snooze, which is almost a miracle in itself (so I'll be nice to myself and count it anyway). Getting up early is a really hard thing to do, which is actually pretty silly since it's the simple action of getting out of bed. I'll do better tomorrow.

Weather report: -2 as of 6:00am, high of 4 for today with no precipitation, which will be a nice change!

I am soooo thirsty, and hungry. Usually, I'm not hungry at all first thing in the morning. Oh well, off I go to shower and see if I have time to eat breakfast here before I leave.

Today is Sadie's 25th birthday... Happy 25th birthday!!!


Have a good day!

Sleep training

So I haven't writtten in a while...again. I keep meaning to, but keep putting it off because there is always something to do.

WI - After staying the same last week, I was really glad to lose 1 lb this week despite too much Halloween candy! I'm down 12.5 lbs and it feels nice to know I am doing something for myself. Before starting to lose weight, I was feeling myself getting depressive again and am glad I am on the path to wellness again.

Yesterday, I had decided to start going to bed early and to sticking to a set schedule, though knowing that that wouldn't work on it's own, I went and did some research and found lots of sites, and a friend of mine saying her doctor even told her this, that the key is not setting a get to bed time but a wake up time. Sit tight while I elaborate a little. Apparently, the important thing is getting up at the same time everyday, even on weekends, and listening to your sleepiness signals. It comes with the warning that you might have ups and downs in your tiredness levels for the first week, but after a while, they'll even out. Getting up at the same time everyday, right when your alarm rings, help to put your body in a pattern. Concentrating on the wake-up time is beneficial because as you do different activities during the day, your body won't need the same amount of rest, and then you just may end up sitting in bed, not being able to sleep. By concentrating on your sleepiness levels, you'll get the sleep you need more consistently, and even if you're tired after going to bed later than usual one night, you'll catch up the following day and feel refreshed.

Given all that information, I set my alarm for 6:30 this morning, but my DS woke us up at 6:15 whinning that he wasn't feeling well. All this to say, I started getting ready at 6:30 this morning and still wasn't ready to leave on time. Note that I am NEVER ready to leave the house when I should and I ALWAYS get to work late but just compensate with shorter lunches and no breaks, which is definitely not healthy. So tomorrow morning, and for a  few weeks (until I decide if I should get up ealier) I will be getting up at 6. Although I didn't prep my lunch this morning which is part of why I was late, I have been practicing getting that done at night also.

Lately, I am all aboutestablishing new routines. I've been feeling really scattered and feel that I need to get control over my life, and get away from the computer when I am not doing anything on there. For example, I will keep up with my forums and such, but not stay on browsing for nothing important after I am done.

Ok, so that's a lot of changes. I've also got more I want to do, but I don't want to tackle too much at once. Let's see how this works out. My goal is to get up, and say hello to my blog every morning in order to stay accountable (as I get on the computer to check the weather anyway). So if you notice there isn't a message around 6am, come kick me in the butt!

Ok. Enough of a break. Back to work!

It's been awhile...

Ok, so yes, I am still alive, not pregnant, I was just sick. It's sad in a way, a relief in another as I would like to lose more weight before getting pregnant. I had a really bad week food wise since we had nothing healthy in the house and had a lot of takeout, but I was lucky I guess since I stayed the same at my weigh in yesterday.

So this week, so that I don't get stuck with a gain because of next week, I am being extra diligent about my food intake, hopefully it will make for some fantastic results!

I'm eager to go back to my belly dancing class tomorrow as I didn't get to go last weekend. I did get to do some crafting though and made some awesome Christmas cards. I so need to take pictures to show you all... which reminds me I need pics for my mini goal pants too!... People, you need to remind me these things, because not only am I a procrastinator, I am also very forgetful of things that need to be done!

Ok, so I'm off to read everyone elses blogs since I haven't read in about a week and that makes for a lot of catching up. More news later!

I have to pee.... again...

So today at WI, I stayed the same. Not that I have a problem with that. I went and over ate on Pizza Hut yesterday, so I know it's a part of why I didn't lose. I'm not going to beat myself up about eating so much before a WI though as I've heard many people do. I mean, what's the point of pigging out right after WI, to then have to be super careful the rest of the week. That's too diet-y and not enough real change for me. My view is, if I eat well, and even sometimes not so well, it will show in the end, and one weeks results are not the end.

I also wasn't that bothered because I've been feeling crappy lately. Since Saturday night I've been having really bad cramps, have a headache that won't go away and I'm queasy all the time. It really sucks. My DH keeps saying that I'm pregnant, I keep saying I'm not. I don't think that this cramping is a symptom of pregnancy, neither do I want to get my hopes up for nothing. Though another thing is in my DH's corner, although quite small a thing, my gums bled like mad when I went to the dentist last week, which is really unusual for me, and her first question was 'are you pregnant?, that can explain so much bleeding'... So this is my mantra for the next little while... I am not pregnant, I am not pregnant, I am not pregnant..... I just don't want to be disappointed when my period comes. Wanting to get pregnant is such an emotional roller coaster, especially when not trying very hard to get pregnant because my body is not liking my weight and not really cooperating. Though I won't go into further details and gross you all out with womanly issues.

OK, so enough of a rant and bitching for me. I will now get up, go pee (again, yes, I know, another symptom), and then go finish the dishes while listening to music to get my mind off of feeling sorry for myself for feeling crappy.

See you with a cheery post next time!

Healthy Scrapbook

I was reading other peoples blogs this evening as after a long day full of activities, I'm tired. Not only that, but I've been fighting off a headache all day and right now I am queazy and having really bad cramps (hopefully, it wasn't anything I ate). So anyway, I was reading this one blog (http://heatherslosingit.blogspot.com/) where Heather was discussing an old scrapbook of hers. So since I love to craft, I decided I would make my own scrapbook, just a mini one though with my weightloss, or at least the reasons why I decided to lose weight. I think it will be a good reminder when things aren't going so well, and something to leave for my kids so that they know how much good health is important to me and why.

So I'm off to do more blog reading!

Goodnight!